Well I didn't come back to anything good that's for sure. I come home to find out my computer crashed. A huge monstrous crash, and nothing is working to fix it, and like a typical moron, I didn't save anything to a disk. I have thousands upon thousands of things written in that computer that could be gone forever. I have pictures on there and just ugh. So much stuff. I won't speak too soon because my dad is taking it to his computer guy today, but in the meanwhile, I am just thinking of how I am going to have to pay to fix it, if it's fixable, and that leads me to my second bad thing.I just checked out our money situation. Lately we have been doing so good - saving so much money and paying all of our bills on time and being good adults. But I see that our bank account has dwindled down to practically nothing. And that is mainly because we missed a week of work when we went to Florida. I know I should just calm down and take it as it comes. I mean, Chris gets paid tomorrow and so do I and we will be right back up to where we should be, but in the meantime, I wanted to get my hair cut for my new job. We need groceries. I think we have an automatic bill payment tomorrow and what if we haven't deposited our checks yet!?
I need to take a deep breath. This is how we lived the entire first half of our marriage yet. Paycheck to paycheck, wracking up the credit card bills. If worse comes to worst, we will simply have to use those credit cards again. After all, it's only one day. Tomorrow is when we get paid. We'll be okay after tomorrow. I still don't know how often I get paid at my new job though, and I don't know if there is a waiting period for new employees and I don't know if we'll be able to make it until I get paid there and on and on and on. I want to go get my hair cut just so I can feel good about myself. But then I think I might regret spending money. We will get through this.
Tomorrow we get paid. And if they try to process a payment from our account, doesn't it take a bit to process anyways? So that gives us time? Ugh. I'm freaking out. I hate this. I need to settle down. It's only till tomorrow.
3 comments:
Money shit is a tough one. I'm sorry you are going through.
At least it's just for today, right?
Peace,
Scout
Projection! Woohoo!
Sometimes, I feel like going to meetings and stuff is like a new language I'm learning. It's neat to be able to go read other people's sites and see them acting like me and then label their behavior. And then, next time I'm acting crazy, I can think, "Look, I'm projecting, like her!"
I've been realizing today how much I obsess/stress, too. I spent time this morning trying to quiet my mind. It's hard, isn't it? And for me, I use money in the bank to feel safe. And when I feel unsafe, I spin even more, and round and round and round I go. Hang in.
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