Monday, August 20, 2007

My old job

I know I am a very emotional person. But sometimes things just hit me out of nowhere.

I had to call work today, from Florida!, to answer a call from my boss. Turns out all four of them, which are like the little family, are all on the way to lunch together. It made me so sad! I wasn't with them, and then it hit me that after two weeks, I won't be anymore again. They will go on their lunches without me because I won't work there anymore. It's really sad, quite honestly. I won't be part of the little family anymore.

S was asking if I miss him, and saying he missed me, and that it has been a long time (3 weeks) and again, it will be a lot longer most likely when I quit, unless we hang out together some time, which we have been known to do. A whole part of my life, a part that I have loved, will be gone.

Don't get me wrong - I was and am NOT a fan of the work I was doing there. All I could think was that it was below me. That I was better than it, and that I should not be doing expenses and payroll and answering calls. I should be doing social work. But I loved the people, and that is why I went every day. I am friends with all of them in unique ways. We are all a tight knit group and I won't be a part of that anymore.

So while I am leaving to pursue a job that I will (hopefully) be content in, I am leaving them behind. I am leaving to do what I have wanted to do for a long time. The hard part is leaving this camaraderie, leaving the group of friends behind. When I first started, they told me it was like working with your friends - hanging out with your friends. And they were right (for the most part.) It's hard to weigh the options - stay with your friends and enjoy it but hate your job, or find a job you love and make new friends there.

I didn't know it would be so hard.


Chris said...

Change is part of life. Nothing ever stays the same. We buried my mother in October, talk about change.....I always try to look at change as a chance to grow. It is hard but you can make it work for you in a positive way./good luck

Recovery Discovery said...

I started a new job today, but not by my choice. The hardest part for me has been letting go of my team. As I went through the newness of addiction and recovery last year, I let my colleagues in in a way that I really never had before. They were so there for me, and really became my family of choice. If it's any comfort, I'm right there with ya. It's HARD!!!!!!