Thursday, July 26, 2007

Background #3

On New Year's Eve, we had plans to spend our first "Eve" as a married couple. But at 10:45pm, Chris had to go to the bathroom. Embarrassing enough as it is, we were out of toilet paper. We were poor, and didn't make time to run out and get some.

So Chris said he was just going to run to Walgreens right down the road, grab some, and be back here before the big ball dropped. I told him that he never came back on time. He promised he would.

At 11:15pm, I figured he would be back any minute. At 11:30pm, he still wasn't back. I was getting a little anxious, not wanting to miss the big moment with my husband. I called, but big surprise, no answer.

11:45pm, not here. At 11:59, after numerous phone calls, he still wasn't back and I sat and watched a new year begin by myself. Drinking my fake champagne.

Of course, I kept calling and eventually crawled into bed. I worked the next morning and could not wait up forever. The next morning came and he was not there. He still didn't answer. I got ready for work, and on the way there, calling his mom and telling her because I did not know what else to do.

It was typical for him not to come home, as I've noted in past blogs, but it was not typical for him to be gone all night. And since I couldn't keep calling, and since I couldn't go looking, I let his mom know. She asked if he had been home last night. And against my usual nature of protecting him and trying to save face, I said no.

She said thanks for letting her know and she would keep me posted. I worked for awhile and his aunt called my work. We have always had an instant connection - she is crazy and loud like me - and I broke down to her.

I will spare the details, but I ended up leaving early (time and 1/2!!) and stayed at his aunt's for the day. They lived right down the street from where we did so they could constantly drive by and see if his car was there.

After his family showed up there, and my sister did too, his car was in our apartment driveway. His dad dragged him to his aunts, where I refused to come out and he refused to come in.

He claimed he had went to Walgreens but that there was a note on the door saying they would be back in 1/2 an hour. He claims he fell asleep waiting. In the morning, when he woke up, it was because cops were knocking at his window wanting to know what he was doing there. Searching his car, searching him.

I did not believe him, obviously. Walgreens, having a note like that?! Please. Maybe a little Ma-and-Pop store. But Walgreens? And then to be delayed by the cops for what, six hours? Sure.

After awhile of that, he left.

I decided to leave. I was going to stay at my parents. So my sister, and his parents, went back with me to our apartment and as I was going in, he was walking out. We didn't talk, nothing.

I went to my parents. I stayed there for three days. During this time, he would call, he would text, etc.

I can't even tell you how I felt. At first, I was so angry with him lying. I was so mad and so hurt that he did that to me on New Year's and at all! Then I just didn't care. I didn't care what he was saying because I knew it was nothing but lies.

I told myself that if he didn't come in to talk to me (at his aunt's), then I was not talking to him. And if he didn't tell me the truth, the whole truth (and nothing but), I was leaving.

And so I did.

The first day without him was a blur. I was depressed, and so confused. I didn't know what to do. I'm sure my family was also so confused, but that is for another installment of the "Background" series.

On the 2nd day, at night, I wanted to go over and discuss. But at 9pm, he still wasn't answering his phone. My dad, probably more pissed off than me, volunteered to drive to Chris' work and see if his car was there. I said no, it was okay. I waited a little, then told my parents I was going there.

I think they were worried about my safety, being that they already suspected something horrible.

I did the spying wife game, and drove to his work only to see that his car wasn't there. He was at home when I arrived. We talked about what happened, and about didn't happen. He stood by his story, never budging, and I repeatedly asked if he was doing drugs. Over, and over. He denied it to the bottom of his heart. He swore up and down.

Manipulating bastard.

1 comment:

Amy said...

This is so sad, especially for someone so young, like you. You have so much hope, you keep trying to believe things will be all right. It's heartbreaking to read.
The more addiction blogs I read, the more I realize how strong addiction is - it can be stronger than love, hope, anything. I can see how women struggle so hard, trying to figure out when or if it is the right time to walk away.