Last night was a kind of awakening night for me. I am one of those people who are afflicted with migraines. And last night was one of those lovely nights. I stupidly did not take any medicine on the onset of it, and was left with a throbbing so painful I could barely close my eyes to sleep.
Chris and I fought a little which did not help, but as I lay there, my mind running over everything - running over the excruciating pain as well, I started to feel something. All these fights, all the little bitter, bickering arguments that amount to nothing but useless and stress - are pointless. They get us no where. And I don't care to do it anymore.
Pick my battles - that's what's important. And I don't care to be so petty, so trivial, and so immature. Yes, I am angry and yes, I am bitter. But I am not going to let that affect me in every area any more. I am going to work on that, much harder than in the past.
I am sick of fighting over such stupid stuff. Actually, I am sick of fighting in general! But I am, from now on, going to keep up the mantra "Not my bucket of sh*t." And "Pick my battles."
I am done being that way. And to add another goal to the pile, I am going to really start being happy with me. I am completely happy with me normally, but I am going to get my life the way I want it. And I know I am going to be content and happy with my life if Chris and I don't work out.
So this morning, I apologized for my part in the argument last night. I never apologize. But I did. And I am glad I did. We are on the right path. And while my migraine is still hiding behind the wall of Excedrin this afternoon, ready to spring, I know I can handle it.