Still here

I am still alive and apologize for not writing sooner!

An update on my previous post "Oh, addicts": S was not on a bender. S skipped out of work. He called into work at 3pm, saying that he just took a day off. The short of it is that he wanted to prove to B that if B wants to dispense of him, he can do it. He didn't want to put up with B's constant criticism. He didn't want to come to work and deal with it.

On the one hand, I could completely understand. I could even agree. B is just...it's hard to even come up with a word that single handily covers all of the issues. I can see why S would not want to come in. I didn't want to either.

But. On the other hand, to go about executing your plan like that is selfish. I was worried sick. Rae and my office manager were worried as well. And to simply call in at 3pm saying you were golfing gives one relief but it also filled me with so much anger. How could he be that selfish as not to think that other people are really worried about him?

B never got ahold of him and they haven't spoken yet. I am going out of town tomorrow and Wednesday and will not be around to see what happens.

That is the short version. B also apologized to me for his rude behaviour though he continued to act the same after his apology was over.

I just wanted to let you all know that I will be back in full-fledged action on Wednesday night or Thursday.

Jobs

Sometimes you just really need to vent about work, right? Well today is that time. My boss, though great and understanding about my life problems, thinks she is absolutely 100% right about everything. I find it irritating in every way. Probably because I am the same way.

Our co-office-worker makes mistake after mistake after mistake while following all the pre-ordained guidelines while I do it my own way. Not breaking any rules, just simply doing things that seem smarter, more efficient, and more effective. But to my boss, it is wrong. To my boss, only her way is smart, efficient, and effective.

Heaven forbid I am saving the company time and money by having to send people out to fix co-girl's problems. I have not had one incident close to what she has had. Yet, I see myself being ridiculed and yelled at so much more than her. If she makes the same "mistakes" I do, which she does, she does not face what do.

That is probably because she stands there like a meek little lamb, whereas I will fight you to the death. Defend to the death. And I am horrible at surrendering. If I feel that is in everyone's best interest to simply stop fighting, I will simply say okay. And for the life of me, I cannot make it sound sincere. I am sarcastic. That is me.

I am sorry, but the job I am doing now, and the job my manager is doing, is not the most important job in the world. We are landscapers. It is not life-changing, nor life-saving. Customer service is not number one to me. It is not the most fucking important thing.

I want to just yell - tell her that I have a degree in social work. I know how to treat people. I know what it is important. I know how to sway people in one direction or another. But I am stuck here, because I cannot find a job in my field. I cannot find a job.

And I know social work is not all important either. But it is a hell of a better thing than landscaping.