Thursday, January 24, 2008

Don't have to forgive...now

Amazing that I would write I am going to break, because something else has happened this week. I am not fully ready to discuss it, and I am still pressing on with him, but we will see for how long.

The meeting on Tuesday went nothing as I expected. She told me to start attending Al-Anon, which I have known forever, and commiserated with me. But I did not feel as if anything was sorted out. She told me about some of her experiences with her first husband, and recommended some books. I don't know what I expected, but I know I didn't expect to just vent and complain, and then have no resolution. She didn't even teach me or tell me or anything about how to slowly resolve my never-ending anger towards him. She did tell me it is just the beginning and that I am further ahead than most, but that I don't have to forgive him right away or be done in my anger. Which whether or not she said that, it didn't matter, because I know I can't do either.

I am going read the book(s) she recommended, and look into Al-Anon, but in the meantime, I am going to start looking for fun things to do, whether it is taking classes or attending lectures or plays, or anything to get me out of the house. He needs to see that I am not just sitting around waiting for him. I have my own life.

This week has not been easy. Tough situations have came up. Thanks to everyone for your comments and support.

8 comments:

Amy said...

I'm sorry it has been so difficult. But it is good you saw the counselor. It was a start -she got to know you a little, and hopefully each week will be better.
Your paragraph about getting out and doing things and having more of a life is great. It sounds strong and healthy. You won't feel like that every minute, but just keep going. You are very young to have this much of a challenge to work through. You are doing great. Don't give up!

Recovery Discovery said...

One of the healthiest things I ever did for myself was start a neighborhood book club. Doing things for me is so important, and often the first thing to fly out of my head when I'm obsessed in crises with my partner. Naranon has been a Godsend for me. Hang in there. Keep sharing and taking care of you.

Amy said...

So how are you doing?

sKILLz said...

Dam girl I'm sorry to hear this and I hope things get better.

Yea get your butt out of the house and do shit. Go to the movies with the homegirls. Go to Barnes & Nobles and read the books she gave to you. Just go out and get your mind off of shit and get your mind RIGHT.
I'm here if you wanna talk/vent/bullshit/ or whatever!

Sonja said...

Please remember to put yourself first. Don't become another victim of someone else's problem, even if you love them. Getting out, talking to others, remembering that people like you for who you are is very important. It is easy to feel alone, and isolate yourself in this kind of situation, because you don't want to bring everyone down. I know from experience. But it can help restore your sense of self to let them help you. We tend to forget that others do care and want to help. Treat yourself a little and know that you are worth it.

Addict's wife said...

You haven't posted anything for a while, I hope it is because you are busy doing things for yourself and that nothing has gone wrong.

Addict's wife said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
laila said...

hello everyone! i am a newborn to this blog. i don't know where to turn. i have been married to a man for 16 years that i don't even know. every day is different and totally insane. i am pressing on, always have, but feel i need some support from some of you that have gone through this. i also know that you give and give and give so trust that i appreciate any insight. i know i am not in this craziness alone!! thank you for sharing as it takes courage to do this. peace to all of you today.