I went out again last night. People from work again, except this particular man went as well, with his girlfriend. There were also two other work people there.
I can tell you it was not as fun as previously. Perhaps because there was all this tension with him and I couldn't relax. However, as the night wore on, and him and his girlfriend wore beyond wasted, I found comfort in the fact that it really doesn't matter.
No longer am I on the dating scene. I am not running after men, I am not/should not! be interested in anyone else. And all I could think about was going home. I just wanted to go home. I was thinking to myself, "I am missing Frasier for this!?"
I even called Chris at one point to pick me up, but he was sleeping and I didn't have the heart to tell him to come get me when he works early. I toughed it out.
I have no tolerance, no patience, for people who are drunk. Everyone was well on their way to becoming so, but I just wanted to crawl into bed next to Chris and feel his skin under my hand. And so when I got home, I did just that.
The apartment was freezing, and the warm contact was a weird feeling. But I made a decision last night. To stop acting like a flirt. To be content, or show it at least, because I am. I am done with the old me.
And this morning, I put on the new me.