Weighty-ness

I'm having a hard time with my weight lately. It seems to be going up and down. Only by a couple pounds, but for those of you who have read earlier posts regarding my weight, you know that I was so excited to be down one pound!

I am not up any further than I was before; in fact, I am not even up as high as I was before which is not really high at all. I am just very down about it because it is so hot out and I can't fit into my clothes that I wore just one short year ago. My goal was that by the end of June I would be down to my goal, fitting in my shorts, but I am not even close.

It is a huge disappointment. I knew I would fail though because my boss consistently and constantly buys lunches for us nearly every day. Fattening, greasy, delicious lunches. I can't resist.

I have tried to tell myself that it doesn't matter. I am not fat! I am cute. I am still little. Not as little as before though, is what I keep hearing. Chris still wants me. I'm not unhealthy. That should be all that matters, right? That's what I tell myself. I repeat it to myself.

I walk every night, and did sit-ups every night. I stopped that when Chris wasn't home one night, and since then I haven't picked it back up. I guess it really doesn't matter because while I may have been getting muscle tone from it, I wasn't losing weight. And I wasn't fitting in my shorts.

It doesn't help. I just want to fit into my shorts. That's all. Why won't it happen?!