I guess I should just prepare myself for a fight pretty much once a week. I don't mean little disagreements, I mean huge, blow-up, out-and-out brawls. Like tonight.
It always starts with something so stupid. He didn't pick up some stuff in our apartment. I don't see why not. We just moved here. There is tons to do. And he was home 3 hours before me but he always has some stupid excuse.
I am too tired to expand, too exhausted, but it escalated (like normal) into a shouting and pushing match. Eventually, I told him to leave. And he did.
I just don't understand. How hard is it to just help me out? Just start putting things away. Just go downstairs to storage and put some fucking boxes away.
I have a found a new friend though. One I have mentioned a couple times. She works with me and has become my best friend. She goes though quite the same things as me and we are able to talk and vent at work and on the phone. We talk often. So tonight, I went over to her house.
We sat on her back patio and drank wine, like two civilized adult women, without a care in the world. Like two civilized adult women talking about our boring mundane lives. Funny, our conversations revolving around our addict men, our lovers who can't get their act together. Funny how our "civilized" talks are about so much more than what we should ever have to deal with.
I can't even be more grateful for what I have found in her. She has been my confidant, my friend, someone I can turn to with everything. It is so hard and so rare to find someone that you can talk to about your life without fear of being judged. I am going to cherish it and not take it for granted. Friends are hard to find. Good friends. I will not be quick to let her go. I feel fortunate to have someone like her around.
Have a good 4th, bloggers.